Sniff Sniff Achooooo!!!

Neptune's Orb

2009-03-05T17:38:00.001+05:30

My New love with photoshop led me to this

Oscar Humdrum Humbug

2009-02-26T18:11:00.005+05:30

I'm bored of the damned entertainment industry. Who didn't know about the Oscars this year. It was Slumdog Millionaire all the way. And it was worse here for me at home here in India where it kicked such a dust storm. They were celebrating the success of "Indianness" at the world's most prestigious award ceremony for films. Let me make things clear, I liked the movie. I'm not here to bash the movie or praise it. It was a good movie. Danny's an excellent director and I knew it from 28 days later. That is all.

What I'm pissed at is the Academy. The attitude of the Academy. Why is it some tutty fruity artsy movie about gay people, misery, or some goombah of the sort have to win ? Why wasn't "The Dark Knight" nominated for more awards and won more ? I'm glad Heath Ledger won his Oscar for the Joker. But honestly, if he was alive and up against a character who was gay he would've lost. Mind you.

The academy is obsessed with all the afore mentioned rubbish. They really need to honour the cool characters man. Here's what I propose, make the Oscars cool starting with the statuette like the afore picture.

God is the greatest prankster.

2009-02-14T15:34:00.002+05:30

Its ironic that we're all unique . Absolute bastard the guy who thought of this prank on us.

Random ............

2009-01-02T21:46:00.004+05:30

I've been studying mad stuff. Really. I had a chapter called Random Numbers. For the sake of the reader, I have broken down the gist of the chapter into a conversation between two friends Binky and Bonky (I'm a bit creatively constipated right now, don't hate me. )

Binky: I have this mad chapter man, its called random numbers. Its rubbish !!

Bonky: How hard can it be ?? I mean its just numbers which are random.

Binky: Yeah they are. But usually the random numbers you use come from a bloody formula to generate random numbers.

Bonky: So ??

Binky: Which means that they're not really random numbers because they have a formula and can be predicted. So they're not random numbers they're just pretending to be random numbers. They're pseudo random numbers !

Bonky: Oh okay so they seem like random numbers. Thats good enough right ?

Binky: No it isn't.

Bonky: Then what do you need to do ??

Binky: I need to test the not so random numbers if they're random enough. And I have a bunch of weird ass tests for it.

Bonky: Your course is useless you know that right ?

Binky: Absolutely.

Bonky: Wanna get some coffee ??

Binky: Sure.

I rest my case.

Fashion Review - And how to artfully rip it apart...

2008-11-11T22:32:00.008+05:30

This is a damned movie review. When I say damned, I mean damned. I'm reviewing "Fashion" by Madhur Bhandarkar. By far one the worst movies I have seen till date. I like movies that surprise me a little, not too much , just a little. This movie was so damned predictable, that I was predicting the dialouges in the movie, let alone the story, about an hour before I even entered the hall.

The film is essentially about Meghna Mathur a small town girl with big city dreams in the modelling and fashion industry. Hmm how brilliantly original. She gets everything wrong in the begining and slowly learns the ropes of the industry and gets to the top with her "do whatever it takes attitude". On the way to the dizzying heights of her supersensationalism she manages to overthrow the present queen bee and "it" girl,... whatever her name is, who's busy on her own downward spiral of coke abuse and ego trips. All the while, the protagonist is being manipulated by her boss for sexual favours and la de da la de da.

The erstwhile queen bee with a coke habit gives the protagonist and ominous warning that she wouldn't even recognize herself after she reaches the top. And then finally the protagonist goes on her own downward spiral betraying her friends and backstabbing people, all the while developing a healthy coke and alcohol abuse, like a good supermodel should, finally till she gets the boot by her own talent company, a la the erstwhile queen bee. Finally she goes overboard and gets high in a party and ends up with a one night stand with a black dude.They're always the most lucky or the most unlucky people in movies, they either get the babe or the bullet, but no matter what they always remain cool, and look cool.

This apparently was the turning point in the movie, after she gets her jollies with Mr. Anonymous Black man. She goes into depression and runs back home to small town to mom and dad. Dad feels like rubbish for not supporting dear daughter and coaxes her to go back to big city where she falters initially in her comeback and yet manages to pull it off all the while trying to nurse back the erstwhile beauty queen who'd been battling with addiction and ruined herself. Trying to validate her life I suppose. In the end she faces all odds and triumphs. Huzzah !!

Now to what was actually wrong in the movie.

The director thought everyone who went to the movies were imbeciles and felt the need to spoon feed every aspect of the movie by first person narration.

Also the script had a very middle class slant to it. Not something which the artsy farts in the movie who were depicted would approve. What my complaint is that many people have actually benefited from the damned industry. God I'm defending them in an effort to rip the movie whats the world come to ??

Plot was way too linear.

Too less skin. I had quite some expectations.

Karan Johar's cameo. Why do we deal with him for anything at all. Can't he just have a freak accident and die.

Did i mention it was predictable like a sunrise.

Did I mention a waste of time and money ?

Okay I'll stop. Contact me if you want me to continue.

Amele Nodona

2008-10-07T22:27:00.003+05:30

Its a favorite phrase in my language. In fact in any other language. Its one of those things which unites all cultures together. It means "we'll see later". Its probably the cause of some men's various chagrins. The cause of a lot of apathies. But widely accepted as a drug to deal with things at our own pace. Notice I said drug which means too much of it can be a bad thing.

Procrastination is also to some a way of life. Why do something now when you can do it later is usually their maxim. Nice one. Not really.

Its also used as an excuse to get away from things. Think about it you've had a really bad and grinding day and come home and your kid keeps nagging at you for a new toy that he/she wants you promised a long time ago, you look at him/her with all seriousness and say we'll see tomorrow; he/she makes a lot of noise and goes away, you smile contendly as you lay back on the sofa as your kid sulks at a broken promise. Wondorous tool this is!

May also kill you like in scenarios of you being in an ER, bleeding. But still.

What be the point of this entry ? Nothing actually was just listening to Pink Floyd's Time. Brilliant song . One of the best guitar guitar riffs ever. Go and listen to it. Think a little too when you say "we'll see later". I'm trying. But hey we all need to deal with life some way don't we ?

Doomsday over tea

2008-09-28T12:40:00.013+05:30

"This is the end

Beautiful friend

This is the end

My only friend, the end

Of our elaborate plans, the end

Of everything that stands, the end

No safety or surprise, the end

I'll never look into your eyes...again"

You'd be surprised at how much we wouldn't care. Honestly. You'd think that we'd care if the world ended, but ... naaaaah.

I'm making a reference of course to the experiment which was conducted at CERN. To those who didn't keep up with the news, scientists tried to recreate the big bang in an effort to find the Higgs-Boson particle, the fundamental particle which make up all the other particles.

I'm not a particle physicist but I'm smart enough to know what the experiment was about. And of course the papers and your local news/gossip channel were predicting the end of days, doomsday, ragnarok etc supposedly with the formation of mini black holes that'll swallow up the earth. And some imaginative buggers even went to the length of coming up with a computer generated visualization of how the Earth would be eaten up by the mini black hole, which is ambitious since no one knows,exactly, what black holes are.

I wanted the experiment to go on and was quite intrigued actually. After catching up with the story on some lame news channel late in the night, I went to college the next morning, breakfast and tea deprived. So I decided to make a quick stop to the canteen to stop my stomach from growling. As usual I found company in a number of people who had missed their first class of the day. So I decided to settle myself among a few mates of mine who saved me a seat. Incidentally we were sitting next to a gaggle of girls who were considered the "happening" crowd.

I was sipping on my tea and quite happily lost in my thoughts, but the gaggle of girls next to me were quite loud and were discussing something of paramount importance which only the female sex will understand. Shoes. And more importantly them being on some other girl. It was then then it occurred to me that we really wouldn't care if the world ended.

I don't give credit to the doomsday soothsayers on the news, but hell I atleast I knew there was a particle's chance of things going really bad(pun intended). Would we care if the world would go puff in a flash? No we wouldn't because, if the world would go puff in a flash then we wouldn't be there to worry about it later. Doomsday is overrated.

I thought I'd share this thought with my mates, but they told me to shut up and let them finish copying their assignment. Fair enough. So I finished my tea. It was a bit too sweet that day.

What to do child ??

2008-09-27T20:02:00.001+05:30

In response to a plea to write something about, and in itself becoming a blog entry

2 gay loafers in the middle of IT when the milkman comes in with his wife and 5 kids.. and it turns out to be CAD class in ramaiah

thanks Junkie !!

Then there was a Mongol...

2008-09-22T14:32:00.004+05:30

Once a upon a time in Mongolia there lived a great Emperor named Genghis Khan. Now he conquered a lot of places and some say he was a nice guy and some say that he wasn't, and after leading a long and fruitful life.... he died. That is not what I'm here to talk about .

What I am interested is however that the fact the he was the world's biggest rapist and got away with it. And according to historians, he did it with so many women that his bloodline still runs today in the most unlikely people. And due to all that there was a young boy who was born. And like the great Khan there were a lot of legends surrounding him. Some say he was born knowing every oriental language, and also every known martial art. And at the present rate of his voracious appetite, is now the sole reason Africa is starving.

One day he had a vision that the great Khan came to him and revealed to him of his true lineage mixed along with a lot of blood of tamilians and kannadigas. He was inspired. He also learnt from the great Khan the reason why he went on world conquest. The great Khan was bored at home and wanted to eat in a swanky persian restaurant. But they denied him on the grounds of "rights of admission reserved". The great Khan was furious and livid. He made an oath to the Gods that he would one day eat all the culinaries in the world. But they denied him everywhere with the same sign "rights of admission reserved". So the great Khan went on world conquest to eat fine cuisine. The great khan conquerd China for their momos and noodles, Persia for their biryani and kababs, Italy for their pastas and pizzas, Germany for their blackforest cake, Russia for their vodka and so on ....

But before he could complete his oath to the gods .... he died. And his successors in their squabbles forgot their sire's true vision.

To the young boy he implored as his heir he must complete his oath to the gods else the great Khan would not be at peace. The young boy after his vision set out to do exactly that. Since the great Khan was blocked away from India from the Himalayas and he was born here, he began completion of the great Khan's oath to the gods, by eating here. From Kashmir to Chettinad style, from Gujju to Bengali food, from hell spiced Andhra style to mild and exotic sweets. And due to globalization he has been able to also eat a variety of foriegn cuisines unknown even to the great Khan.

He is presently in his third year in his B.E. course in the department of telecommunication at MSRIT . His name is Kushal and he also happens to be my best friend.

The Secret To A Healthy life

2007-11-20T22:04:00.000+05:30

My family has a history of heart disease. And thanks to a bum named Darwin I'm probably going to get it due to genes. Well I was looking for a way out of this vicious circle which was an unjust fate upon me undeserved. People told me that I need to keep myself healthy. Well I'm no fatso so I can eat as much as I want. But if I didn't keep myself fit I would risk myself to heart disease.

But I have another family genes problem. The dominant "be lazy" gene. No matter what I do I cannot wake my butt up and do something. I tried ... I really tried. I had my dog lick me and wake me up, didn't work. Had three girls call me in the morning to wake me up, didn't work. Had my Dad yell at me, didn't work. Had an four alarms with annoying alarm tones, didn't work. I was at wit's ends. I didn't know what to do. I needed Divine Intervention. And the God lord answered my prayers.

Good things always come in small sizes. I was bestowed with a new cell phone. A Sony Ericsson w830i. To me it was always more than a phone with music. It transformed my life the minute it entered my hands. I listen to my phone when I ride through the chaos that is the city's traffic. And now I'm oblivious to the noises of the traffic. I have no traffic tension!! Therefore cutting down my chances of hypertension and heart disease!!

Another miracle happened to me I was able to wake up all by myself up !! . Just one alarm on my phone !! Normally I hit snooze and go right back to sleep. But now I can go resist hitting that snooze button and go for morning jogs !!, helping me keeping my ticker running. I simply love my phone

Good times have come to me. And I'm thankful to the almighty. Dhanyoshtami. Blessed. Hallelujah. Praise be to Allah.

Bad is Good ... HAHAHA

2007-11-14T21:25:00.000+05:30

"Once upon a time, long ago and far away, there was a great battle between Good and Evil. Good was triumphant, and as a result Humanity has lived happily ever after .
But supposing Evil threw the fight ....
And supposing Good cheated .... " - Tom Holt, Paint Your Dragon pg 1

What if we had it all wrong ....
What if all that you believed in turned out as blasphemy. What if the all perfect God was not perfect. To be a biblical basher, wasn't Satan once Lucifer The Bringer of Light (to ignorants Satan was once a Seraphim, the highest echelon on angels). Wasn't God responsible for the creation of everything including everyone's will, the will that went against Him. Dear me where would you go then.

This doubt has occurred in humanity once to many. We follow the philosophy of one Renaissance writer's book, Machiavelli's The Prince. To ignorants the gist of what his book says is as much; A statement or motion is absolutely true until proven false. Think about it the whole legal systems, scientific bodies, investigations, all which we have our faiths in follow this system. Now what if new evidence, proof or facts which would change our view as the absolute truth. What would you consider true?

A few decades ago we held that matter and energy were two absolutely different concepts. The quantum theory and sub atomic studies ripped apart that notion. We now laugh at the people who believe they are not interchangeable.

Law systems work on the principle "Innocent till proven Guilty". A man is considered innocent and a shining example to society until of course someone frames him for some dangerous slander.

People don't like doubt. Change is not welcome. Well its the only thing that keep us going. So the next time you hear a small voice in your head which doubts your "absolute truth", acknowledge it. It just might make you wiser. It just might save your butt. It might make you a moron then you can be sure of that at least.

Thou shalst stay dead thou fiends !!!

2007-11-07T22:17:00.000+05:30

Was in my friend's place today watching some third rate horror flick with Lucy Liu called Rise or something like that . Was good fun since it was mindless and had a few nude scenes. Anyway it featured her becoming a vampire.
Now most people don't think vampires exist. But Oh ye heathen souls Satan's greatest victory was making the world believe his evil does not exist. Do not let the blasphemy cloud thy judgement. The Noseferatu roam the lands with mankind completely unaware of their existence. But lo here I shall recount to thee an encounter with their servants doing their bidding and filling their insatiable desire for blood. For they are not far, some you may count upon them as thy closest friends in academic institutions(colleges for morons).
'Twas a sunny afternoon on Monday, Fifth November in the year of the Lord 2007(5th November 2007 A.D., Monday afternoon for morons), as I was making way to the mess for a quick refreshment before I would resume my academic pursuits. When I met a friendly face to whom I share warm feelings with. I began to engage small talk with her I saw a shadow which gave her unnatural will. For she was, upon a piece of parchment, taking names down of people and asking them to give their blood. She used all her skills of persuasion on the vulgar and the commons to "donate to the noble cause". As she tried her skills on my spirit guided by this dark unknown will I sensed that something was amiss and so as to humour her I agreed and made an insignia upon her parchment ( signed up for blood donation for morons).
The thought of her strange behaviour laboured and weighed on my thought and conscience. I decided to resolve this mystery. I learnt by craft and deception that she was working for an order named the NSS headed by an unknown Vampiric lord. The horror chilled the very essence of my soul. They intended to use the blood, the very essence of our life to the pleasure of those soul devoid monsters. I made haste to warn my fellows before it was too late. But alas their minions had turned the stones and found me and with the voice of the undead they recited the speech given to them to bewitch us asking me to donate blood ! They had me from all corners. With no option I made a desperate dash for my life shouting "GET AWAY FROM ME YOU FRICKKIN VAMPIRES !!!"
Miraculously I escaped from their grasp. And now here I am warning my fellow humans of the impending doom of this clan that seeks to cloak us with. Beware. You have heard my story.

2007-10-31T23:43:00.000+05:30

Leisure

by William Henry Davies

What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.

No time to stand beneath the boughs
And stare as long as sheep or cows.

No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.

No time to see, in broad daylight,
Streams full of stars like skies at night.

No time to turn at Beauty’s glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance.

No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smile her eyes began.

A poor life this if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.

One of the poems I read when I was in fifth grade. And till this day the most memorable one to me.