Neptune's Orb

My New love with photoshop led me to this

Oscar Humdrum Humbug

I'm bored of the damned entertainment industry. Who didn't know about the Oscars this year. It was Slumdog Millionaire all the way. And it was worse here for me at home here in India where it kicked such a dust storm. They were celebrating the success of "Indianness" at the world's most prestigious award ceremony for films. Let me make things clear, I liked the movie. I'm not here to bash the movie or praise it. It was a good movie. Danny's an excellent director and I knew it from 28 days later. That is all.

What I'm pissed at is the Academy. The attitude of the Academy. Why is it some tutty fruity artsy movie about gay people, misery, or some goombah of the sort have to win ? Why wasn't "The Dark Knight" nominated for more awards and won more ? I'm glad Heath Ledger won his Oscar for the Joker. But honestly, if he was alive and up against a character who was gay he would've lost. Mind you.

The academy is obsessed with all the afore mentioned rubbish. They really need to honour the cool characters man. Here's what I propose, make the Oscars cool starting with the statuette like the afore picture.

God is the greatest prankster.

Its ironic that we're all unique . Absolute bastard the guy who thought of this prank on us.

Random ............

I've been studying mad stuff. Really. I had a chapter called Random Numbers. For the sake of the reader, I have broken down the gist of the chapter into a conversation between two friends Binky and Bonky (I'm a bit creatively constipated right now, don't hate me. )

Binky: I have this mad chapter man, its called random numbers. Its rubbish !!

Bonky: How hard can it be ?? I mean its just numbers which are random.

Binky: Yeah they are. But usually the random numbers you use come from a bloody formula to generate random numbers.

Bonky: So ??

Binky: Which means that they're not really random numbers because they have a formula and can be predicted. So they're not random numbers they're just pretending to be random numbers. They're pseudo random numbers !

Bonky: Oh okay so they seem like random numbers. Thats good enough right ?

Binky: No it isn't.

Bonky: Then what do you need to do ??

Binky: I need to test the not so random numbers if they're random enough. And I have a bunch of weird ass tests for it.

Bonky: Your course is useless you know that right ?

Binky: Absolutely.

Bonky: Wanna get some coffee ??

Binky: Sure.

I rest my case.

Fashion Review - And how to artfully rip it apart...

This is a damned movie review. When I say damned, I mean damned. I'm reviewing "Fashion" by Madhur Bhandarkar. By far one the worst movies I have seen till date. I like movies that surprise me a little, not too much , just a little. This movie was so damned predictable, that I was predicting the dialouges in the movie, let alone the story, about an hour before I even entered the hall.

The film is essentially about Meghna Mathur a small town girl with big city dreams in the modelling and fashion industry. Hmm how brilliantly original. She gets everything wrong in the begining and slowly learns the ropes of the industry and gets to the top with her "do whatever it takes attitude". On the way to the dizzying heights of her supersensationalism she manages to overthrow the present queen bee and "it" girl,... whatever her name is, who's busy on her own downward spiral of coke abuse and ego trips. All the while, the protagonist is being manipulated by her boss for sexual favours and la de da la de da.

The erstwhile queen bee with a coke habit gives the protagonist and ominous warning that she wouldn't even recognize herself after she reaches the top. And then finally the protagonist goes on her own downward spiral betraying her friends and backstabbing people, all the while developing a healthy coke and alcohol abuse, like a good supermodel should, finally till she gets the boot by her own talent company, a la the erstwhile queen bee. Finally she goes overboard and gets high in a party and ends up with a one night stand with a black dude.They're always the most lucky or the most unlucky people in movies, they either get the babe or the bullet, but no matter what they always remain cool, and look cool.

This apparently was the turning point in the movie, after she gets her jollies with Mr. Anonymous Black man. She goes into depression and runs back home to small town to mom and dad. Dad feels like rubbish for not supporting dear daughter and coaxes her to go back to big city where she falters initially in her comeback and yet manages to pull it off all the while trying to nurse back the erstwhile beauty queen who'd been battling with addiction and ruined herself. Trying to validate her life I suppose. In the end she faces all odds and triumphs. Huzzah !!

Now to what was actually wrong in the movie.

The director thought everyone who went to the movies were imbeciles and felt the need to spoon feed every aspect of the movie by first person narration.

Also the script had a very middle class slant to it. Not something which the artsy farts in the movie who were depicted would approve. What my complaint is that many people have actually benefited from the damned industry. God I'm defending them in an effort to rip the movie whats the world come to ??

Plot was way too linear.

Too less skin. I had quite some expectations.

Karan Johar's cameo. Why do we deal with him for anything at all. Can't he just have a freak accident and die.

Did i mention it was predictable like a sunrise.

Did I mention a waste of time and money ?

Okay I'll stop. Contact me if you want me to continue.

Amele Nodona

Its a favorite phrase in my language. In fact in any other language. Its one of those things which unites all cultures together. It means "we'll see later". Its probably the cause of some men's various chagrins. The cause of a lot of apathies. But widely accepted as a drug to deal with things at our own pace. Notice I said drug which means too much of it can be a bad thing.

Procrastination is also to some a way of life. Why do something now when you can do it later is usually their maxim. Nice one. Not really. 

Its also used as an excuse to get away from things. Think about it you've had a really bad and grinding day and come home and your kid keeps nagging at you for a new toy that he/she wants you promised a long time ago, you look at him/her with all seriousness and say we'll see tomorrow; he/she makes a lot of noise and goes away, you smile contendly as you lay back on the sofa as your kid sulks at a broken promise.  Wondorous tool this is!

May also kill you like in scenarios of you being in an ER, bleeding. But still.

 

What be the point of this entry ? Nothing actually was just listening to Pink Floyd's Time. Brilliant song . One of the best guitar guitar riffs ever. Go and listen to it. Think a little too when you say "we'll see later". I'm trying. But hey we all need to deal with life some way don't we ?

Doomsday over tea

"This is the end 

Beautiful friend

 This is the end

 My only friend, the end 

Of our elaborate plans, the end 

Of everything that stands, the end 

No safety or surprise, the end 

I'll never look into your eyes...again"

You'd be surprised at how much we wouldn't care. Honestly. You'd think that we'd care if the world ended, but ... naaaaah. 

I'm making a reference of course to the experiment which was conducted at CERN. To those who didn't keep up with the news, scientists tried to recreate the big bang in an effort to find the Higgs-Boson particle, the fundamental particle which make up all the other particles. 

I'm not a particle physicist but I'm smart enough to know what the experiment was about. And of course the papers and your local news/gossip channel were predicting the end of days, doomsday, ragnarok etc supposedly with the formation of mini black holes that'll swallow up the earth. And some imaginative buggers even went to the length of coming up with a computer  generated visualization of how the Earth would be eaten up by the mini black hole, which is ambitious since no one knows,exactly, what black holes are. 

I wanted the experiment to go on and was quite intrigued actually. After catching up with the story on some lame news channel late in the night, I went to college the next morning, breakfast and tea deprived. So I decided to make a quick stop to the canteen to stop my stomach from growling. As usual I found company in a number of people who had missed their first class of the day. So I decided to settle myself among a few mates of mine who saved me a seat. Incidentally we were sitting next to a gaggle of girls who were considered the "happening" crowd. 

 I was sipping on my tea and quite happily lost in my thoughts, but the gaggle of girls next to me were quite loud and were discussing something of paramount importance which only the female sex will understand. Shoes. And more importantly them being on some other girl. It was then then it occurred to me that we really wouldn't care if the world ended. 

I don't give credit to the doomsday soothsayers on the news, but hell I atleast I knew there was a particle's chance of things going really bad(pun intended). Would we care if the world would go puff in a flash? No we wouldn't because, if the world would go puff in a flash then we wouldn't be there to worry about it later. Doomsday is overrated. 

I thought I'd share this thought with my mates, but they told me to shut up and let them finish copying their assignment. Fair enough. So I finished my tea. It was a bit too sweet that day.