Was in my friend's place today watching some third rate horror flick with Lucy Liu called Rise or something like that . Was good fun since it was mindless and had a few nude scenes. Anyway it featured her becoming a vampire.
Now most people don't think vampires exist. But Oh ye heathen souls Satan's greatest victory was making the world believe his evil does not exist. Do not let the blasphemy cloud thy judgement. The Noseferatu roam the lands with mankind completely unaware of their existence. But lo here I shall recount to thee an encounter with their servants doing their bidding and filling their insatiable desire for blood. For they are not far, some you may count upon them as thy closest friends in academic institutions(colleges for morons).
'Twas a sunny afternoon on Monday, Fifth November in the year of the Lord 2007(5th November 2007 A.D., Monday afternoon for morons), as I was making way to the mess for a quick refreshment before I would resume my academic pursuits. When I met a friendly face to whom I share warm feelings with. I began to engage small talk with her I saw a shadow which gave her unnatural will. For she was, upon a piece of parchment, taking names down of people and asking them to give their blood. She used all her skills of persuasion on the vulgar and the commons to "donate to the noble cause". As she tried her skills on my spirit guided by this dark unknown will I sensed that something was amiss and so as to humour her I agreed and made an insignia upon her parchment ( signed up for blood donation for morons).
The thought of her strange behaviour laboured and weighed on my thought and conscience. I decided to resolve this mystery. I learnt by craft and deception that she was working for an order named the NSS headed by an unknown Vampiric lord. The horror chilled the very essence of my soul. They intended to use the blood, the very essence of our life to the pleasure of those soul devoid monsters. I made haste to warn my fellows before it was too late. But alas their minions had turned the stones and found me and with the voice of the undead they recited the speech given to them to bewitch us asking me to donate blood ! They had me from all corners. With no option I made a desperate dash for my life shouting "GET AWAY FROM ME YOU FRICKKIN VAMPIRES !!!"
Miraculously I escaped from their grasp. And now here I am warning my fellow humans of the impending doom of this clan that seeks to cloak us with. Beware. You have heard my story.
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